we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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