Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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