why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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