there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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