I wish I could punch you in the face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
