He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
