i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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