found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
