walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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