remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
