She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
