just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
