i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
