Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize