This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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