you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
