I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
