Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
