If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
