The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
