Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
