do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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