It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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