Small penises have feelings too.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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