every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
