i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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