You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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