Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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