I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
