...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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