Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize