So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
