My hand turned me down
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
