When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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