that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
