11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
