she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Bring me that man meat
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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