Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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