just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
