Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
