Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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