Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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