vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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