Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
