Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
