that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
