come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
