Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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(847): View more from Illinois

she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to

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(317): View more from Indiana

We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...

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(301): View more from Maryland

She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?

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