I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake