Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.