Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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