I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
