is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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