I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
