omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
