I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
