Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
