Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
