Duck Duck Cougar?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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