They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
