she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
