just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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