I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
