Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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