the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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