It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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