So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
