Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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