i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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