why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
