woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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